Jumper
by SleepIsFun
Summary: Teddy contemplates putting himself out of his misery, But what would his friends say if they were there? Warning:Contains suicidal thoughts.


  
  
---Hey there everyone. This is my first attempt at a one-shot fic. and one that revolves solely around Teddy. I've been wanting to write a Teddy fic. for a while, but never really felt inspired enough, but then this song came on the radio the other day and I was all wow, that reminds me of Teddy. (The other Teddy fics. out there also gave me some encouragement as well).So anyway, if things go right, and this fic. is mildly successful I'm gonna write a few more one shot Teddy fics. That's only if I don't get really lazy, which is highly likely. Anyway, be nice with the reviews, like I said, this is my first Teddy fic. Oh yeah, I don't own the song Jumper by Third Eye Blind. Sweet Dreams---  
  
SUMMARY: It's Teddy's 21st birthday and he's looking back on the past 21 years of his life. He feels that his life is meaningless and it would be better to just end it all...but then somehow his mind drifts back to a time that seems really far away, and the three boys that made his childhood a little more bearable. What would those guys say if they knew the thoughts that were going through his head at this very moment? 

**Jumper**

It was a cold November night as a very intoxicated Teddy drove up to the cliff that over looked Castle Rock. When he was younger this used to be the place to take your date and make out with them. But seeing as it wasn't a Friday night it was deserted, save Teddy that is.

Today was Teddy's 21st birthday. He had spent the day in a daze going through the motions like a man under spell. He worked at a factory about 10 miles away from Castle Rock. No one wished him a 'Happy Birthday' all day, not that he expected it. Even growing up no one never made a big deal out of his birthday. Maybe a few presents from his mother, and a birthday card from his Aunt in Ohio.

As Teddy got out of the car to look at the view he wondered what had drove him here. He hadn't been up here in ages, so why now of all times, had he chosen to come up here? Deep down he knew the answer.

He took a couple steps closer to the edge and looked out over the town that he had lived in his entire life. He wished he could get out of this god-forsaken town, but it seemed as if he would be stuck here until the day he died.

He took another swig out of the bottle of Jack Daniels he bought when he got off work, and sat down near the edge of the cliff. After 21 years of pain, suffering, ridicule, never doing anything right, he figured he deserved a bottle of Jack Daniels. And that led him to wonder how did he wind up here? And he didn't just mean here, on this cliff...

He never wanted to be this person. He wanted to be a hero, like his father. He wanted to have a wife and kids and love them like his father never loved him. A goal as simple as that seemed far out of Teddy's reach.

He stood back up, staggering a little and looked down. The fall would definitely kill him if he chose to jump. And as each minute passed he believed he would. There would be no one to miss him. His mother had died 2 years ago and his father has been too far gone in his mind to even realize he has a son, for over 10 years.

And as for friends? Yeah right, friends. He laughed at the idea. No one in their right mind would befriend Teddy DuChamp. Well except....  
  
_**And your friends have left you **_

_**You've been dismissed. **_

_**Never thought it would come to this**_

"That was a long time ago Teddy," he said to himself. "We were only kids," he reminded himself. He inched even closer to the edge preparing him self for the fall down. He knew it would hurt, but at least afterward there would be no more pain.

_But they wouldn't want you to do this,_said a voice in the back of Teddy's head.

"Shut up," he yelled to himself! "Just shut up and let me do this."

_You know I'm right, the voice argued. What would Gordie say? Or Chris? Or Vern?_

"They wouldn't say anything because they're not here. They all got out of this fucking town, even Vern-O," Teddy yelled aloud to the voice in his head!

_No. They'd say your being a pussy. That you were being a coward and only pussies take this way out._

_"Come on man," said a second voice. "Get out of here."_

Teddy jumped back a little and looked over to the direction of the voice. There was no one there.  
  
_**I wish you would step back **_

****

_**from that ledge, my friend.**_

_**You could cut ties **_

_**with all the lies that you've been living in.**_

_"Sincerely man," said another voice. "This doesn't seem like such a good idea."_

I'm going crazy Teddy thought to himself frantically. Hearing child hood friends that aren't there is definitely not a good sign.

_"What's everyone gonna think of you man," said yet another voice._ This one sounded a lot like Gordie. _"That you were too pussy to deal with life? Is Teddy DuChamp a pussy?"_

"I'm not a pussy," yelled Teddy! He was crying now. "It just got too hard. I can't fucking deal with this anymore," he sobbed. "So would all of you just shut up and fucking let me kill myself in peace," he ranted into the night!  
  
_**The angry boy, a bit too insane **_

_**Icing over a secret pain **_

_**You know you don't belong. **_

_**You're the first to fight you're way too loud **_

_**You're the flash of light**_

_** On a burial shroud I know something's wrong**_

_"Remember the day we went to go find Ray Brower," the Chris voice asked?_

Teddy nodded wiping away some of the tears.

_"We were heroes that day man," Chris said. "No one really knew it except us, but we were heroes man. Don't give that up."_

"_Yeah man. There's shit in this life worth living for. Moments like that, when we can all be heroes," said the Gordie voice._

_ "Sincerely Teddy. Don't be a pussy," said Vern_.

_"Just let it go man, just let it go," Chris whispered._

_**Everyone's got to face down the demons **_

_**Maybe today we can put the past away**_

_** I wish you would step back **_

_**from that ledge, my friend.**_

Teddy started crying uncontrollably as he tried to come to terms with what he was. The fact that the last 21 years of his life had been a waste. His broken childhood, his teenage years that had been spent in a daze of alcohol and drugs....and now. Where was he now? A child stuck in a 21 year old's body, is what he felt like.

He stopped crying long enough to back completely away from the cliff. What those voices had said was right...no matter how crazy it sounded. He was worth more then this, and he certainly wasn't a pussy.

He got back into his car and drove home to his apartment that he had been living in for the past 6 months or so. He stumbled into bed, thinking about how he almost made the biggest mistake of his life.

He drifted off to a dreamless sleep...thinking that maybe, someday soon, he would be okay.


End file.
